Top 5 Active listening techniques/skills

 

Has it ever happened to you when someone asked your opinion on something they'd spoken-up for 5 minutes but, you didn't have an answer? Just because an entirely different story was going on in your mind. Maybe the topic he was speaking about was "The status report for July". On the contrary, what was ongoing in your mind was "Justin Bieber's new album release." Ever happened? I guess, it did. And you're not the only one. It's natural to derail from a topic. Maybe you're tired of some workload, the topic's uninteresting might be or simply you have heard the headline long before the person is sharing. It could be any cause but sometimes it gets essential for us to listen to the person when the person turns out to be our boss or a client. Don't you worry! I'm the captain of your ship and together we're going to reach our "Active listening" destination. Come follow me!

1.Listen for listening:

    

                                                  Listening ≠ speaking

"It's obvious!" you must be thinking. Yes, we listen to listen but not always. Sometimes we have a full stock of ideas and so much to speak that we keep hindering the speaker from sharing his/her thoughts. ( Ugh!!!! let me finish first ) That ultimately leaves a poor impact on your speaker.

2.Ask clarification questions:

It's no shame in asking what you just don't get. Remember, if you pretend to be a master or to impress the speaker you didn't ask anything even if you're not getting then you'll no longer survive in the long run. Soon or later at some point, you are likely to be embarrassed. 

So, it's better to ask clarification questions such as;

-Can you tell me more?

- How it works?

-When did this happen?

-What if it were you?

-Why? Then what would you like to see?

3.Show non-verbal active listening:

Even if you're listening to your speaker to the best, to create a reliable and trustworthy listening-speaking relation, it's a bonus to show gestures to the person so that he/she can feel that their conversation isn't going in vain and you are the one who is keenly listening. Some of the ethical gestures are;

• Lean slightly forward or sit in a neutral position when listening.

• Look interested. Instead of looking bored. It doesn't mean to exaggerate either all you need is to look focused and stay focused.

• Nod your head at times you listen.

• Don't have your hands folded in front of the speaker doesn't matter if he/she's doing the same. 

• Make appropriate eye contact with the person in front of you.

• Try to avoid unnecessary or uncomfortable gestures such as rolling your eye, nail-biting, rubbing your hands, and similar signs that you are uncomfortable.

4.Paraphrase what you heard:

While listening to information, you might be overwhelmed by tons of knowledge the person is sharing but no need to grab every word or date and year. Here's the tip. You should be attentive enough to grab catchy information from the listening and generate a summary in your head out of the main context.  

5.Don't mirror your speaker:

John: "Hey! I went shopping last weekend."

Tamara: "Oh! You went shopping last weekend!"

John: "Yeah. But I failed to find any perfect snickers for our next party."

Tamara: "That's sad. You didn't find any perfect snickers for yourself."

John: "That's sad Of course. Yet I need to buy new ones to match our party's theme."

Tamara: "Yes, you need to buy new ones to match the theme."

    

       What's peculiar about Tamara? You get it! She kept copying John. This is what's called "mirroring." Unintentionally sometimes, we are too delve into the speakers' topic of speech that we keep mirroring the same as Tamara did. Mirroring act usually leads to the annoyance of that person and it's often observed, people tend to avoid individuals who mirror conversations. Remember to keep a wave on all your senses to be WIDE and OPEN just like before a role play. Every piece of equipment is double-checked by the team to make sure all the cameras are working, mikes are audible, and the lighting is perfect. So, all you need to do is listen like a sponge and speak up after the person's finished with his/her views.

The bottom line:

All in all, "look focused, stay focused" is the slogan for today. To summarize all of the above, below are some key takeaways/ points that'll help you out;

1. Summarize all the main points from the conversation and try to conclude a context from it. 

2. Don't look exhausted or bored to the speaker look interested. 

3. Ask for clarification questions if you have any queries. Don't be silly to look smart.

4. DO NOT interrupt your speaker while he/she is speaking. `